Welcome to my twisted world!!
Good day to you all. My name is Beelze Bob and I am the ‘face’ of Twisted Gifts.
My vision for my website is now a reality and I want to share with you some of the experiences along the way that I have had in a series of short blogs to make you smile or go ‘holy shit did he really just say that’. There will be no dumbing things down or making things pretty I will be saying it as I see it, please or offend.
So let's begin...
There are two creators of Twisted Gifts who wrote their initial ideas on the back of a fag packet before I got involved and who to be honest at times I have wanted to bang their fecking heads together. Artistic license is one thing but you really do need to be able to spell and use apostrophes in the right places when creating a website.
One is the graphics guy, he takes the images and the weird shit that comes into his head and creates them into the unique designs that you see on the site today. Yeah I know I do wonder too what the hell goes on in his head with some of them too. Can’t work out whether he should be arrested or sectioned some days as some of those designs are very dark and some I just don’t understand at all but he assures me that the people will find them funny.
The other is the back end man (no he is not allowed anywhere near my back end although he has tried a few times). He is the one that makes sure all the things on the site are in the right place with the right tags blah blah blah ...... he says much more about what he actually does but I have switched off after a few seconds so I am still not really sure exactly what he does do apart from sitting in his dressing gown playing golf and periodically uploading the new designs when the other one gets round to doing them.
So here we are now at the end of January 2019 with the weather being a bitch and Christmas and New Year a distant memory. Time to be thinking about what you are going to give your loved one or someone whose pants you want to get into a card or gift to show your intentions this Valentine’s.
Valentine’s actually has a very long history and it is said that its origins are a Christian effort to replace a Pagan fertility festival Lupercalia where Roman Priests would sacrifice goats and dogs and use their blood-soaked hides to slap women in the streets as a fertility blessing. A bloody, violent and sexually charged celebration replaced with hearts and flowers. WTF I think I prefer what Lupercalia had to offer and you can see that with the range of cards that we have on offer to celebrate Valentine’s.
So it has been nice chatting with you but I have to go check on those two as they can’t be left unsupervised for very long otherwise they start slacking.
Have a look at the rest of my site, you are bound to find something to fit the bill for Valentine’s and I will be back soon.
Can you spot the deliberate mistake?