Funny & Rude Birthday Cards for Girlfriend

Looking for funny and rude birthday cards for girlfriend that actually get a reaction?

You’re in the right place.

This collection is packed with sarcastic, offensive, and dark humour birthday cards for girlfriend designed for people who are bored of generic, polite greeting cards.

Whether you want something cheeky, brutal, or completely inappropriate, these cards are made to stand out and get a laugh.

This collection includes:

Funny birthday cards for girlfriend with sarcastic jokes
Rude birthday cards for girlfriend
Offensive humour cards for people who can take a joke
Dark humour birthday cards that aren’t safe-for-work
Savage insult-style birthday cards

If you’re searching for a funny rude birthday card UK, this is exactly what you’re looking for.

These cards are ideal for:

Girlfriend with a dark sense of humour
Girlfriend with a good sense of humour
A girlfriend who can take a joke

Let’s be honest — most birthday cards are forgettable.

These aren’t.

They are designed to:

Get a real laugh
Shock the recipient (in a good way)
Be remembered long after the birthday
Stand out from generic supermarket cards

This collection is optimised for:

funny birthday cards UK
rude birthday cards
sarcastic birthday cards
offensive birthday cards
funny rude birthday cards for him
funny birthday cards for her

Related Collections:

👉 Funny Birthday Cards

👉 Funny Age Specific Birthday Cards

👉 Rude Birthday Cards For Mum

👉 Rude Birthday Cards For Dad

👉 Rude Birthday Cards For Brother

👉 Rude Birthday Cards For Sister

👉 Rude Birthday Cards For Boyfriend

👉 Rude Birthday Cards For Her

👉 Rude Birthday Cards For Him

👉 Rude Birthday Cards For Friends

If you’re unsure which card to pick:

Go funnier if they like light humour
Go rude if they enjoy sarcasm or insults
Go offensive if they like dark or edgy humour

Not John – Dark Humour Birthday Card

Not John – Dark Humour Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-19

3 total reviews

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Adli – Parody Birthday Card

Adli – Parody Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-140

2 total reviews

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Piss Yourself – Insulting Birthday Card

Piss Yourself – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-113

3 total reviews

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Significunt – Insulting Birthday Card

Significunt – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-23

4 total reviews

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Window Licker – Insulting Birthday Card

Window Licker – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-236

4 total reviews

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Buffet – Dark Humour Birthday Card

Buffet – Dark Humour Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-216

3 total reviews

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Protein Shake – Rude Birthday Card

Protein Shake – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-125

5 total reviews

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Word Search Cunt – Insulting Birthday Card

Word Search Cunt – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-186

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Fat Queer – Insulting Birthday Card

Fat Queer – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-182

1 total reviews

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Big Black – Rude Birthday Card

Big Black – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-306

6 total reviews

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Massive Cunt – Insulting Birthday Card

Massive Cunt – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-202

1 total reviews

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Unicorn – Funny Birthday Card

Unicorn – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-129

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You Are About Here – Funny Birthday Card

You Are About Here – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-137

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Bumhole – Rude Birthday Card

Bumhole – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-25

3 total reviews

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Hairy Mary – Insulting Birthday Card

Hairy Mary – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-143

1 total reviews

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Yeah Yeah – Sarcastic Humour Birthday Card

Yeah Yeah – Sarcastic Humour Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-239

4 total reviews

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Dirty Slapper – Rude Birthday Card

Dirty Slapper – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-89

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Intelligence Test – Funny Humour Birthday Card

Intelligence Test – Funny Humour Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-5

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Thoughtful Gift – Dark Humour Birthday Card

Thoughtful Gift – Dark Humour Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-112

1 total reviews

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Huge Cunt – Insulting Birthday Card

Huge Cunt – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-48

2 total reviews

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Flappy – Rude Birthday Card

Flappy – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-309

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Laden in the Garden – Funny Birthday Card

Laden in the Garden – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-173

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Pet Talk – Funny Birthday Card

Pet Talk – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-310

2 total reviews

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Good Things – Dark Humour Birthday Card

Good Things – Dark Humour Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-319

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Morning Ladies – Rude Birthday Card

Morning Ladies – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-289

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Pirate – Funny Birthday Card

Pirate – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-142

2 total reviews

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Honestly – Funny Birthday Card

Honestly – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-131

1 total reviews

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Yawning Hippo – Rude Birthday Card

Yawning Hippo – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-156

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All He Wanted – Dark Humour Birthday Card

All He Wanted – Dark Humour Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-183

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Don’t Follow Through – Funny Birthday Card

Don’t Follow Through – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-135

1 total reviews

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Another Year – Insulting Birthday Card

Another Year – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-83

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Plasterer’s Radio – Rude Birthday Card

Plasterer’s Radio – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-165

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Toss Up – Rude Birthday Card

Toss Up – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-261

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Another Foot Saggier – Insulting Birthday Card

Another Foot Saggier – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-218

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It’s My Birthday – Funny Birthday Card

It’s My Birthday – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-144

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Stiff Joints – Funny Birthday Card

Stiff Joints – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-134

1 total reviews

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Grammar Nazi – Funny Birthday Card

Grammar Nazi – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-141

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High On Life – Funny Birthday Card

High On Life – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-102

2 total reviews

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You Tit – Rude Birthday Card

You Tit – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-110

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Otter’s Pocket – Rude Birthday Card

Otter’s Pocket – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-301

1 total reviews

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Wombat – Funny Birthday Card

Wombat – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-315

2 total reviews

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Slag Wellies – Rude Birthday Card

Slag Wellies – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-257

2 total reviews

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Dick Breath – Insulting Birthday Card

Dick Breath – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-298

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Dog Years – Funny Birthday Card

Dog Years – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-104

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Face Rub – Rude Birthday Card

Face Rub – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-172

2 total reviews

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What The Fuck – Funny Birthday Card

What The Fuck – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-185

1 total reviews

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Happy And You Know It – Funny Birthday Card

Happy And You Know It – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-321

1 total reviews

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Poo Sorry – Funny Birthday Card

Poo Sorry – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-243

1 total reviews

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Chardonnay – Funny Birthday Card

Chardonnay – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-288

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Ding Dong – Funny Birthday Card

Ding Dong – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-139

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Smell So Old – Funny Birthday Card

Smell So Old – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-230

1 total reviews

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Blow Me – Rude Birthday Card

Blow Me – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-132

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Gobbler – Rude Birthday Card

Gobbler – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-299

1 total reviews

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Felch – Rude Birthday Card

Felch – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-290

2 total reviews

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Birthday Bellend – Insulting Birthday Card

Birthday Bellend – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-105

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Dodged a Bullet – Insulting Birthday Card

Dodged a Bullet – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-264

2 total reviews

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Stars Bright – Insulting Birthday Card

Stars Bright – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-302

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Annual Session – Rude Birthday Card

Annual Session – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-219

1 total reviews

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Tortoise – Funny Birthday Card

Tortoise – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-304

1 total reviews

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One Tit – Insulting Birthday Card

One Tit – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-313

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Size Matters – Funny Birthday Card

Size Matters – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-308

1 total reviews

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Take The Day Off – Insulting Birthday Card

Take The Day Off – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-191

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Sugar Tits – Funny Birthday Card

Sugar Tits – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-101

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Big Surprise – Rude Birthday Card

Big Surprise – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-126

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Word Search Twat – Insulting Birthday Card

Word Search Twat – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-188

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Die Alone – Dark Humour Birthday Card

Die Alone – Dark Humour Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-169

1 total reviews

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Mr Sloth – Funny Birthday Card

Mr Sloth – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-39

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Hard Times – Funny Birthday Card

Hard Times – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-29

1 total reviews

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Gotta Go – Funny Birthday Card

Gotta Go – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-267

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Guess The Animal – Funny Birthday Card

Guess The Animal – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-320

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Handicap – Dark Humour Birthday Card

Handicap – Dark Humour Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-13

1 total reviews

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Total Fuckwit – Insulting Birthday Card

Total Fuckwit – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-255

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Karen – Insulting Birthday Card

Karen – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-46

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Five A Day – Rude Birthday Card

Five A Day – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-168

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Sperm, Seriously – Insulting Birthday Card

Sperm, Seriously – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-193

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Giveafuckometer – Insulting Birthday Card

Giveafuckometer – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-60

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Magnificent Bastard – Funny Birthday Card

Magnificent Bastard – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-232

1 total reviews

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Dick Pic – Funny Birthday Card

Dick Pic – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-175

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Gobshite – Insulting Birthday Card

Gobshite – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-266

1 total reviews

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Woopti – Funny Birthday Card

Woopti – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-80

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Wrong Way – Rude Birthday Card

Wrong Way – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-92

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3 Weeks – Dark Humour Birthday Card

3 Weeks – Dark Humour Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-138

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Salad – Funny Birthday Card

Salad – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-307

1 total reviews

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Split In Half – Rude Birthday Card

Split In Half – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-295

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Swamp Donkey – Insulting Birthday Card

Swamp Donkey – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-27

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Good Bitch – Funny Birthday Card

Good Bitch – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-283

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Silent HA – Rude Birthday Card

Silent HA – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-279

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Check List – Insulting Birthday Card

Check List – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-90

1 total reviews

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U.F.O. – Rude Birthday Card

U.F.O. – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-24

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On This Day – Insulting Birthday Card

On This Day – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-269

1 total reviews

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Hooker – Rude Birthday Card

Hooker – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-17

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Drunk And Sober – Insulting Birthday Card

Drunk And Sober – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-305

2 total reviews

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Old Shit – Insulting Birthday Card

Old Shit – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-199

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Eggs & Bacon – Funny Birthday Card

Eggs & Bacon – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-98

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Bad Hair Day – Insulting Birthday Card

Bad Hair Day – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-296

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Peanut Butter – Funny Birthday Card

Peanut Butter – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-154

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One Day – Dark Humour Birthday Card

One Day – Dark Humour Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-225

1 total reviews

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Fun And Joy – Rude Birthday Card

Fun And Joy – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-30

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Hugs And Joy – Funny Birthday Card

Hugs And Joy – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-234

1 total reviews

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High – Funny Birthday Card

High – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-115

1 total reviews

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Birds Arse – Funny Birthday Card

Birds Arse – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-86

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Foul Creature – Insulting Birthday Card

Foul Creature – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-81

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Old Boy – Funny Birthday Card

Old Boy – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-287

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Gorden the Gopher – Rude Birthday Card

Gorden the Gopher – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-318

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Stressed – Funny Birthday Card

Stressed – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-85

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Bint – Insulting Birthday Card

Bint – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-109

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Zero Fox Given – Funny Birthday Card

Zero Fox Given – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-91

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Nail Varnish – Rude Birthday Card

Nail Varnish – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-14

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After Life Kath – Insulting Birthday Card

After Life Kath – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-272

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Live Longer – Funny Birthday Card

Live Longer – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-95

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Camel – Insulting Birthday Card

Camel – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-36

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100% – Funny Birthday Card

100% – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-16

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Elephant – Insulting Birthday Card

Elephant – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-223

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Mind Control – Funny Birthday Card

Mind Control – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-262

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Simple And Cheap – Insulting Birthday Card

Simple And Cheap – Insulting Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-270

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Fun – Rude Birthday Card

Fun – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-88

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Quarantine Quiz – Funny Birthday Card

Quarantine Quiz – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-66

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To Be Safe – Rude Birthday Card

To Be Safe – Rude Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-57

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Sexism Her – Funny Birthday Card

Sexism Her – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-161

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Dishwasher – Funny Birthday Card

Dishwasher – Funny Birthday Card SKU : TGBIR-164

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Funny & Rude Birthday Cards for Girlfriend | Twisted Gifts